The hubbie and I, as some of you know, have been going through a rough patch. It is, just that, a rough patch. Anyway, we have dreamed of, discussed, fought about things we can do to “re-kindle” the fire. In fact, I’ve told him flat out that I will not get pregnant again until he takes me somewhere amazing and I feel super special again (not in those exact words but fairly close).
So, when the opportunity to go out for a night of dancing (my favorite thing in the world), we practically seized it. Ok, not really. I got a close friend to watch the little guy which is really watching him on a baby monitor because we did all the hard stuff like bath and bedtime. When I talked to her a few hours before, I confessed I didn’t know if we’d really go out and she immediately said, “umm really? I’m coming to babysit because I feel bad that you haven’t gone out – please don’t waste my time.” At this point, I realized we should probably suck it up and go out despite how exhausted we were from my sons’ night tantrum from 3am – 4am.
Driving down the freeway dressed all nice seems pretty fun with your fairly good-looking husband especially when he is looking pretty hot too. I was excited.. to try to bring back some of the sizzle. Being a parent is fun but damn it can knock the pretty out of you by the minute (or by morning which is how my son likes to do it). We couldn’t agree on details like dinner, where to go, etc but we finally decided to pick up dinner quickly and then head to a bar with a decent dance floor. We parked and started walking when I pointed out a bar that my friends frequent. Upon looking closer, we saw an old friend so thought we’d swing by to say hello. This encounter turned interesting as I ran into a second friend. This friend thought I had died and come back from heaven upon seeing me. I told her we’d be dancing a few bars over and she said she’d come by. She looked me square in the eye and said “I can’t believe you’re out.”
Many of you are probably saying, what are you saying here? She’s just being honest but the the of her voice was like “You became a mom and basically boring so I’m surprised you’d hang out with us fun people.” I decided to let all this go because heck, whatever, I’m having a fun night w/ my hubbie.
We proceed to our destination and I hear the music and I gravitate to the pre-baby person, non-mom, hot smokin’ gal that I am and shake my tail off. My husband and I, despite the strange crowd, are having a good time dancing away (ok I’m probably having more fun than he is — he is just swaying right to left behind me). The same friend finds me in the dance floor and starts dancing with me. She puts her arms around me and again tells me how glad she is to see me out….
I know I’m pushing it but why does seeing me at a bar seem so shocking? I mean I could be at a bar more if I wanted but I don’t know that I really want to. I’m not sure that mom = unfun. I guess that’s what bothered me — it was like she felt that I didn’t know how to have fun anymore now that I’m a mom. It’s just so unfun of me to be at a bar or out with my husband dancing.
I know I’m probably reading into this way too much but have you ever felt like that? Have the people around you ever made you feel like you became a parent and then just a loser like at the exact same time?
Well, maybe you have and maybe you haven’t but I just can’t help feeling a little offended that my motherhood makes me less fun. If only my friend could see me lay on the ground next to my son and fake tantrums like he does…. 😉